


Eggnog

by thesinbin



Series: Ash's Adventures [9]
Category: Deadpool (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Black!Reader - Freeform, Christmas, F/M, some anxiety on Wade's part but it's chill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 00:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9047966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesinbin/pseuds/thesinbin
Summary: Sometimes bad people deserve good things. Even your local mercenary.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thebearking](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebearking/gifts).



> Sorry, babu. It was too fluffy for me to put in blowjobs. Maybe in a Pt. 2?

You loved Christmas. You loved the god-awful carolling and the disgusting fruitcake your aunt sent you each year without fail. You loved the snow that looked like icing on the trees and spending the day with old movies, hot cocoa, and soft, cozy sweaters that looked, quite frankly, like Christmas was all you could think about. To be fair, it pretty much was. 

 

Your boyfriend of three months, however, was decidedly absent. Not because he didn’t want to come, he assured you, and he did, in fact, like to come, but because, he’s said, there were some awful motherfuckers he needed to kill. You figured it was best not to ask questions told him your shower and some clothes were waiting for him when he got back. 

 

It was growing dark now. As unkillable as Wade was, you were fairly sure that this was cause for concern. Still, you kept a plate and a mug warm and your phone at full volume in case he called in need of help. You knew he probably wouldn’t anyway. 

 

Sleep was beginning to test your limits when he finally walked in the door, more or less un-drenched in his usual blood. “No clean-up duty?” you asked teasingly, watching him close the door. Wade laughed. 

 

“Nope! It’s like a Christmas miracle,” he said. You smiled. 

 

“The bathroom is ready. I’ll warm up dinner.” Wade’s mask indicated a smile. 

 

“Aw, babe, you’re the best,” he said, pressing a kiss to your head before walking toward the bathroom. 

 

“You know it!” you called after him. 

 

You never watched Wade eat. He didn’t normally do it in front of you, and he always asked that you turn away. Your best guess was that he figured you knowing what he looked like might make you a target, but weren’t you already one considering the two of you were dating? Still, you figured you should respect his boundaries. If, when, he was ready to show you his face (but he’d already told you his full name for Pete’s sake!  _ His entire name _ !) you would be there to support him like you always did. 

 

“Babe this might be the best chimichanga of my life!” Wade called from your kitchen. You laughed. 

 

“Thanks,” you said. “I got it from that place you like.” 

 

“Best girlfriend of all time,” he said. “You deserve a fucking award.” You laughed once more and prayed this was the last rerun of Home Alone 2. 

 

“Rough day today?” you asked, sipping from your mug. Wade made a noise to indicate otherwise. “Well, I guess it couldn’t be too bad if you came back relatively clean.” There was silence for another fifteen minutes before you turned to face him. 

 

“You could come over here and hold me,” you said flatly. “I haven’t seen you all day.” Wade remained silent. You sat up straighter, concern flooding your features. “Hey, is everything okay? Did something happen?” 

 

“I need to come clean about something,” he said after another minute. You waited expectantly. “I’ve adopted nineteen dogs and I said you could house them.” 

 

“What?” you thundered, standing up suddenly. “Do I look like I have room for—” 

 

“I lied; that’s not the problem!” You pressed your lips together and crossed your arms. “Do you love me?” 

 

“Of course,” you said, significantly calmer. “I love you, Wade.” 

 

“Would you love me even if I was ugly?” You nodded. “What about horribly disfigured?” You nodded again. “What if I looked like the devil?” 

 

“Then you’d look like Kai, who is neither ugly nor horribly disfigured.” Wade paused. 

 

“Who?” 

 

“Coworker.” Wade sighed. 

 

“What if—I looked like an avocado had sex with an older avocado and maybe even a topographical map of Utah?” You frowned. 

 

“That’s not weirdly specific,” you said. “But yes, I would still love you.” Wade paused, approached you, and seemed to freeze. 

 

“Please don’t scream,” he said. Something about his voice reminded you of glass. You nodded. 

 

His hands reached for his mask, hesitated, and pulled it off, revealing his face underneath. To your credit, you didn’t have much of an outward reaction. “Ta-da!” he said. “This is my face.” You nodded. 

 

“So I see,” you said, approaching him. “Well, we have a verdict—I most definitely still love you.” Wade’s eyes widened. Sure, you thought. Perhaps his skin had seen better days, but his features were handsome. You smiled brilliantly at him. No matter what what he looked like, you would always love Wade, not for what he was or what he looked like, not even for what he did, but for who he was. Wade was kind and funny—he was loving, affectionate, and supportive when you needed him. It also helped that should you accidentally burn him, he’d be more or less okay. 

 

“You’re fucking with me,” Wade said, his eyes still wide. 

 

“I mean we could fuck, if you wanted,” you said smoothly. “But I mean it, Wade Wilson. I love you.” You thought you may have seen tears in his eyes. “Now sit down and let me get you some of that gross eggnog you like. I’m gonna watch Home Alone for the ninth time today.” 

 

Wade sat down robotically, watching you carefully as you poured a mug of eggnog and came back with it. As you sat down beside him, curling into his side, he wondered if the universe fucked him over so he’d get the chance to meet you.


End file.
